The Airdyne factor: Crossfit that really sucks good

Posted: July 13, 2013 in Aging, Masters Competition, WODS for Masters
Tags: , , , ,

The first time I saw an Airdyne in our box I was like, WTF? If I get on that thing I’m gonna look like I’m 74 – not 54.

Seriously, does that look like Crossfit equipment? With that big ole’ cushy saddle – I mean seat – and those pedals that look like the wooden building blocks I used as a kid…No, the Airdyne looks like something Paula Deen ought to be on.

I am also a Spinning instructor and our box has spin bikes. lady wotking out riding bike When I saw the Airdynes lined up next to the spin bikes, I chuckled: “Surely, you jest,” I said to my arrogant self.

Then I walked into the box one morning and saw the Airdynes lined up. Matt, owner and my coach, was going to use the Airdynes in a WOD! Silly man. “This will be rich,” I said to my arrogant self.

30 seconds ON at 100%/30 seconds rest for 5 minutes. I did the math. That’s 5, 30-sec. reps. FIVE. How hard could that possibly be? I mean, my spin classes are 60 minutes. “Puh-leez,” I said to my arrogant self.

Five minutes later, gasping for air and unable to get off the damn thing, I said to my humbed self: “WTF is this thing!?!”

Spinning is like riding a tricycle with training wheels compared to the Airdyne.

Schwinn, the evil company that makes the Airdyne, says: ” The Airdyne® Exercise Bike is simply smart. Wind resistance is exponential, so the harder you pedal, the higher the resistance becomes. This naturally provides the right workout for both a novice exerciser and an elite athlete.”

“NATURALLY” provides the right workout!! There is nothing “NATURAL” about the Airdyne. I would rather do 1,000 burpees in the sun on the hottest day of summer than get on the Airdyne for 5 minutes. My obit will probably read: She died on an Airdyne.

Which is why it is such a great piece of equipment for us well-seasoned Crossfitters. Many of us have blown out our knees running for decades or shredded our rotator cuffs. Some exercises in Crossfit are not good for us or we are just not ready for them – yet. We need an aerobic alternative and the Airdyne is perfect. It’s non-impact and it works your whole body – arms, core, legs, heart and panting muscles.

Last night I was supposed to do prowlers but it was raining and I needed an alternative. I asked my coach Matt, “Hey it’s raining and I can’t do the prowlers. What do you think about rowing?” Matt got this smartass, diabolical look on his face and said: “Funny, I was thinking Airdyne.”

So there I was on the Airdyne, being a good middle-aged athlete and doing what my coach told me to do. I spent the first two sets cussing in my head because I was too out of breath to actually cuss out loud. Suddenly, during the third set I realized it was my once-a-week cheat night and in less than one hour I would be eating gluten-free pizza with turkey salami. YES! The last two sets I kicked ass. PIZZA. PIZZA. PIZZA.

I wiped the foam from the corners of my mouth, cooled down, stretched out and went home. I ate half a pizza. I think it tasted good but I ate it so fast I don’t really remember. It sure looked good. And thanks to the Airdyne I probably burned off four times the calories in that half a gluten-free pizza.

Then I said my prayers and went to bed.

“God bless the Airdyne and make sure there is a special place in hell for it.”

Amen.

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Comments
  1. j! ayson says:

    Great post! The airdyne is so deceptive. At first glance you can’t help but think what’s THAT doing here? After my first time on it I know! Total love/hate relationship.

  2. I’m yet to try it….and now I’m 100% certain I don’t want to haha! Great post! 🙂

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