Will the real Fran please stand up so I can deck you?

Posted: August 1, 2013 in WODS for Masters
Tags: , , , ,
Living With Fran

Living With Fran (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I realized Monday night, while in the midst of Fran, that I hate Fran. In particular, I hate thrusters.

If there is one thing I am grateful for, it is that I am not the woman for whom this WOD is named. Who the hell was this Fran? I mean, seriously, is there a real woman named Fran out there who deserved this WOD? If there is, I don’t want to meet her.

Fran has become some kind of freaky barometer we use to measure how good we are in Crossfit. I hear Crossfitters ask: “What’s your Fran?” and in my head I respond, “None of your frickin’ business.” It’s kind of like one mother asking another, “Hey, how long were you in labor?”

Don’t give me this time cap crap, either. No one gave me a time cap when I was in labor. I’ll finish Fran when I’m good and ready, thank you very much.

I know my animosity toward Fran lies in the fact that I suck at thrusters. If I had a 4-minute Fran I’d have a frickin’ tattoo on my forehead that said: 4-minute Fran. If i wasn’t such a lady I would say, “FUCK FRAN!” and move on to something more civilized like GI Jane.

For me, Fran is the ultimate chipper – and I feel like I’ve been through a wood-chipper when I finally finish it. So, let’s not talk about Fran anymore. Let’s pretend she’s just another four-letter word that begins with “F” that’ we’re not supposed to say.


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