To snatch or not to snatch 75#?

Posted: October 18, 2013 in Crossfit Masters Training
Tags: , , , ,

Somewhere – probably over some frickin’ rainbow – lies my graceful, silent 75# snatch. The one with the perfect pull and bump. Fast and confident.  It’s a beautiful thing, unlike my current #75 snatch

I’m taking it as a sign from above that so many of my workouts lately have included snatches. I work my way up to 75# and not only do I look like an old lady trying to throw a 75# bar over her head, I sound like I’m in Quentin Tarrantino murder scene.

English: Frederick Winters during 1904 Summer ...

English: Frederick Winters during 1904 Summer Olympics Русский: Фредерик Уинтерс во время летних Олимпийских игр 1904 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Not a pretty sight or sound.

Once I was accused of being patient. Once. Patience is not one of a my virtues. I want my 75# snatch and I want it now. I did two during a WOD last week. Just two. And I maxed out at 65# during a snatch workshop a couple of weeks ago. Everyone was PR-ing all over the place and there was me, stuck at 65#.

There’s just something unnatural about throwing a 75# bar over my head. I’ve been trying to figure out how a snatch can be considered a “functional movement.”

I clearly see how squats are functional. Everyone else in the nursing home is going to wish they had done squats like me when they’re stuck on the toilet and can’t get up.  Deadlifts already come in handy for picking up those 50-pound bags of dog food – which are a much better deal than the little 5-pound bag a lot of seniors have to buy.

But how is a snatch a functional movement? It’s not like I’m going to snatch a couple of my future grand-kids off the floor, throw them over my head and then drop them to the floor. Seriously, what am I going to snatch when I’m 75-years-old?

Maybe I’ll just be snatching barbells when I’m 75. That would actually be very cool. Screw functionality.

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