Xtend v Extenze: BCAA or “male enhancement” supplement?

Posted: October 24, 2013 in Crossfit Lifestyle
Tags: , , , , ,

Yes, I take supplements. Actually, I’ve been taking supplements since before they were called supplements.

Back in the 1960s, my pre-performance supplement was sticking my finger in my mouth, then dipping it into a cardboard box of cherry Jello, then sticking my finger back in my mouth.

Pre-performance supplement circa 1960s

Pre-performance supplement circa 1960s

Do that a few dozen times and when the start gun goes off you’ve got a red-fingered, sugar-fueled 10–year-old swimming her little arms off.

If we wanted more protein, we ate more hamburgers. Post-workout? A Zagnut bar, or if the vending machine was out of Zagnuts, a Butterfinger. We hydrated with Tang.

Today I’m overwhelmed with all the supplements out there. I have no idea what to buy despite all my research. Which is why I rely on Tommy, an amazing athlete and coach, who is kind of like the Nevada Test Site for supplements. Tommy has tried a LOT of supplements. He’s probably going to glow in the dark when he’s old with all the stuff he’s tried.

So, I go to Tommy with my supplement questions. A few months back it was BCAAs – branch chain amino acids. Tommy did an, excellent job of explaining what they are and how they work and I don’t remember any of it. But he showed me a product he uses, called Xtend, and recommended I try it. I didn’t bother to look at the label.

I went to Vitamin Shoppe, which has the best price I’ve found on the world’s best protein bars – Questbars – and I roamed around. I was overwhelmed by all the different protein supplements and finally gave up. When the kind sales lady asked, “Can I help you find something?” I said “Yes, I’m looking for Extends.”

NOT a BCAA

NOT a BCAA

She raised her eyebrows and went silent.

“Extends,” I said. “It’s a branch chain amino acid supplement.”

“Oh,” she said in relief. “You mean Xtend.”

“Yeah, Extends,” I said (plural).

“No. Xtend,” she said, leading me to a shelf with XTEND and then exiting quick.

Apparently, there is a male enhancement supplement called EXTENZE, which sounds a lot like EXTENDS. Actually, EXTENDS sounds exactly like EXTENZE – the male enhancement supplement. I realized that I had just freaked out the sales clerk: A woman older than her mom just came in asking for a male enhancement supplement.

Thank God I remembered to say “branch chain amino acid” or she probably would have fainted or kicked me out of the store.

So, the moral of this story: Read the label, remember what Tommy told you and if you’re a guy, don’t take me shopping for BCAAs.

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Comments
  1. Ha! My high school swim coach also pushed the pre-meet jello powder. Would be a lot cheaper than the stuff I use now!

  2. hildyjonsn says:

    No kidding! I don’t even want to think about how much I spend on protein bars/powders and supplements.

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