Mom’s golden rule: You make a mess, you clean it up

Posted: November 21, 2013 in Crossfit Lifestyle
Tags: , ,

I wear a lot of hats. Journalist. Homeowner. Dog lover. CrossFitter. Slayer of cockroaches and small rodents. Mistress of Duct Tape Repairs.

But above all, I am a mom and that means I have spent a lot of time – and I mean A LOT OF TIME –  picking up stuff and putting it away and telling others to pick up their stuff and put it away. It’s just what moms do.download

Even though my beloved daughter is an adult, I still pick up stuff and enjoy telling others to pick up their stuff and put it away. So you can imagine how much fun I have at the box, especially after a WOD that involves lots of toys, such as wall balls, boxes, jump ropes and kettle bells.

Actually, most of my fellow athletes at my box are very conscientious. But there are a few – WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS FOR NOW – who do NOT PUT AWAY THEIR TOYS! Take Dom and Tommy and Ryan, for instance. They are strong young men who can lift a lot of weight, which means they go through a smorgasbord of plates: 5lb, 10lb, 15lb, 25lb, 35lb, 45lb…

Somehow, when their very impressive workout during open-gym is over and they are left lying on the floor, exhausted, reading their text messages, they become oblivious to the couple of dozen plates and bars strewn about. HELLO! THOSE PLATES ARE NOT GOING TO MAGICALLY ROLL THEMSELVES OVER TO THE RACK AND STACK THEMSELVES UP! SOMEBODY COULD TRIP OVER THEM AND TAKE AN EYE OUT!

I give the evil eye to Tommy, who points to Ryan, then turn to Dom, who also points to Ryan, and then to Ryan, who says “What?”

And don’t even get me started on chalk. People, this is not the Olympics. You are not a 12-year-old Russian girl about to perform a mind-numbingly difficult routine on the parallel bars. You are going to do a few pull ups. This DOES NOT MEAN you can run over to the chalk bowl between every couple of pull-ups and walk off with a chunk of chalk that you crush in your palms as you run back to your bar, dusting the floor with blizzard of chalk.

First of all, you don’t need that much chalk – even here, in South Florida. Second, you look stupid. Just put your hands in the chalk bowl, dust your palms, GENTLY clap them OVER THE BOWL and then walk away.YEAH-if-you-aujh53

And while I’m on a roll here, let’s not forget that cold and flu season is upon us. I know most boxes are in warehouses in sketchy parts of town, but that does not mean hygiene is irrelevant. There are a lot of body fluids flying around and do you really want to risk getting sick and having to take a week off because some dude with a cold blew his nose in his hand and then picked up a kettle bell?

No, you don’t. So, use that little spray bottle filled with disinfectant or some wipes to CLEAN YOUR GERMS FROM YOUR TOYS.

You’re probably saying, “Sheesh, what a bee-otch.” Well, 40 years ago I got my first job. I cleaned locker rooms at the community swimming pool. Every little mess that someone made and did not clean up was my responsibility. It was not pretty.

Luckily, I worked my way up to lifeguard, where I got paid to yell at people. Now I just do it for fun…and because your mother would want me to.

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