For the love of bacon: Extreme cooking for CrossFit foodies

Posted: December 1, 2013 in Crossfit Lifestyle
Tags: , , , , , , ,

It just so happens that I am a fan of Epic Meal Time – the YouTube internet cooking show devoted to  putting as much fat and calories as humanly possible into meat-based entrees.

It’s a pretty simple premise, kind of like Cheesecake Factory Gone Wild set to The Terminator soundtrack.

All I want for Christmas...

All I want for Christmas…

Taste seems to be a side issue. It’s calories and fat. And bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips…

I doubt I would have stumbled onto EpicMealTime on my own. No, I needed the knuckleheads at CFCP to turn me on to something this…this…this…profoundly odd.

I probably wouldn’t have noticed the guys watching and Epic Meal Time clip because if they’re not working-out they’re standing around the large computer screen mounted on the wall looking at YouTube videos of:

1. How to do a particular lift and the unfortunate consequences of doing it wrong

2. Reruns of the CrossFit games

3. Random weird stuff

4. Butts – specifically the butts of women who obviously do LOTS of squats

But the music – urgent and dramatic – coupled with the phrase “and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips” drew me in.

“What are you guys watching?”

“Epic meal time.”

‘Nuf said. I was hooked – especially on the calorie and fat counter, that continuously grows well into the seven-digits as more ingredients are added. I also like the variety of bird-call sounds that bleep out profanity and the creative ways the guys use Jack Daniels in everything from fried chicken to candy pizza.

One of my favorite episodes is Country Fried Meal Time-Southern Style, in which the guys make Mac N’ Cheese balls – with bacon – which are then breaded in Doritos, deep fried and served with bacon steaks and cheesy biscuits served with honey Jack – nothing more than honey and Jack Daniels.



Of course, it wouldn’t be a southern fried meal without grits – “not some regular-ass grits” – Epic Meal Time grits with bacon and more Jack Daniels. Then fried corn on the cob for a final tally of 1,580 grams of fat and…wait for it…wait for it…53,850 calories!

They eat their creations with manners that would appall their mothers – cramming fist-fulls of the stuff into their grocery holes. Epic.

Also epic is the amount of money these kids must be making because they get millions of hits on YouTube. They have an iPhone app and sell Epic Meal Time cookware, a cookbook, t-shirts, hats and even a little bling.

I love these guys. And I love the guys at CrossFit CityPlace for turning me onto it.

Frankly, a woman of my age doesn’t normally watch this kind of cooking show.

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